Grief Arrived.
Have you considered?
- Seeking support from someone who understands the fear, loneliness, panic, anger, confusion & suffering that death delivers.
- Playing the tape. You can press pause on all these feelings, but the cost is future joy & being fully alive.
- Tending to your needs with stillness, writing, walks, music, and whatever else your heart is asking for.
- Looking closely at who gets a seat at your table. Most of us are forced to clear space so the perfect people can show up.
- Defining & fiercely protecting your peace.
- Leaning on & growing your faith. Tragic loss can be a secret doorway to God.
Remember...we are completely changed by grief.
Nobody told me, so I'll tell you...
This is supposed to suck.
It seems so obvious, but when you are in it, it's real cloudy. Your beautiful person died. Maybe they left your home in a body bag for the last time like my husband did. It's simply surreal to grasp that they are no longer here. Never coming through the front door again.
When I am in the depths of my grief, that thought haunts me, leaving my stomach in absolute knots. And you know what settles my soul? Repeating this...
"It's supposed to suck. It's supposed to be terrible. Gut-wrenching. Why would you think it was supposed to be different?"
Sometimes, the simplest truths deliver the greatest wisdom.
I coach grievers through the disorienting ugliness of grief, and help them embrace the beauty of being alive in brand new ways.
Grief = Hopelessness
Death obliterated my happiness.
I just couldn't understand the point of it all. Why exercise, eat good food, brush my hair, get dressed when my husband was dead at 45...leaving me to parent our children alone?
I began to understand that I had never lived as a hopeless woman, and it was crushing. I knew if I was going to survive this, I had to find ways to hope again.
Healing is rooted in hope, and without it, nothing good happens.
Dear New Griever,
I know how confused & broken you feel.
I understand the utter hopelessness that blankets your present...and your future. I remember wondering how I could possibly shoulder the heaviness of outliving my husband at 47 years old.
It was the scariest, loneliest, hardest time of my life, and I want you to know some stuff. Stuff I wish someone had told me when I was in your shoes.
here we are, with our
uncomfortable truths
I spent most of the first year in a bubble of aloneness. Delivered groceries & online bill pay kept us alive. I couldn't work. Be social. Pretend I was ok.
Death separates us from the herd in an instant...
stripping away our protective layer. We are exposed, disoriented & vulnerable in brand new ways.
- the loneliness is LOUD & suffocating.
- our support system often dissolves.
- urges to run away from this life play in our head...triggering feelings of guilt.
- and all this time we wonder,
"How can I possibly drag this around for the rest of my life?"
this is your
call to action
My person died.
Nothing is the same.
I don't think I can do this.
Consider how it might feel if I walked with you...holding your tender hand as you cut a brand new path, but not alone.
A woman who was you. A woman who is you.
Let's reignite your hope flame, sis.
